








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3185 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2127 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2028 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $941,014 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MyGodisTachanka | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | LemonMoose | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | Cosmic God Lord Flump | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Mouse6162142 | 53% | 98 |
| #5 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 46% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 46% | 119 |
| #6 | CumOnTits | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | AJ | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | femboy | 43% | 65 |
| #9 | BEERCAN | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 16 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | femboy | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | LemonMoose | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | CumOnTits | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 273 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | femboy | 257 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | CumOnTits | 121 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 56 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | LemonMoose | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +3.93 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | LemonMoose | +3.47 | 74 | 40 |
| #3 | DrewSkii | +1.38 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | AJ | +0.45 | 66 | 41 |
| #5 | femboy | +0.44 | 56 | 59 |





