








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 603 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 326 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3263 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4733 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6192 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1504 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,230,755 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 618 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerk4Kirk | 48% | 177 |
| #2 | Mouse6162142 | 48% | 418 |
| #3 | LemonMoose | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | DrewSkii | 46% | 119 |
| #5 | Cosmic God Lord Flump | 45% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CumOnTits | 43% | 309 |
| #10 | pearit | 42% | 109 |
| #11 | Mutahar (ex-bisexual) | 41% | 98 |
| #12 | AJ | 40% | 164 |
| #13 | softest hands | 31% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 48 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | CumOnTits | 28 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Asad | 19 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | pearit | 19 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Cosmic God Lord Flump | 16 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 1141 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | CumOnTits | 527 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | femboy | 519 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | AJ | 357 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Jerk4Kirk | 313 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +5.31 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | LemonMoose | +2.60 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | DrewSkii | +2.01 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | femboy | +1.46 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | pearit | +0.92 | 65 | 49 |





