








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




108 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8118 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5572 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6096 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7672 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,617,212 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Asad | 50% | 201 |
| #17 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 48% | 418 |
| #18 | softest hands | 47% | 79 |
| #19 | Bidoof | 45% | 66 |
| #20 | MyGodisTachanka | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LemonMoose | 44 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 34 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | pearit | 34 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | CumOnTits | 20 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Asad | 17 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | femboy | 1122 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | CumOnTits | 464 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | LemonMoose | 410 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Gorilla_Slavery.com | 396 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | 76561198203150410 | 366 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +4.84 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | LemonMoose | +2.24 | 74 | 42 |
| #3 | ENTRY FRAGGER | +1.80 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | Burt | +1.56 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | DrewSkii | +0.99 | 74 | 47 |





