








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10533 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7578 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8297 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5672 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,307,131 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 53% | 334 |
| #2 | misschf29 | 52% | 384 |
| #3 | ENTRY FRAGGER | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | BEERCAN | 51% | 410 |
| #5 | AJ | 49% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 26 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | CumOnTits | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | softest hands | 17 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | LemonMoose | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 13 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 857 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | CumOnTits | 661 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | misschf29 | 264 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gorilla_Slavery.com | 235 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | AJ | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +4.67 | 85 | 51 |
| #2 | femboy | +1.95 | 62 | 62 |
| #3 | LemonMoose | +1.95 | 73 | 47 |
| #4 | ENTRY FRAGGER | +1.95 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | misschf29 | +1.02 | 56 | 39 |





