








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2443 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3587 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1766 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2165 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,425 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | AJ | 45% | 95 |
| #16 | Mutahar (ex-bisexual) | 44% | 79 |
| #17 | Asad | 43% | 46 |
| #18 | MyGodisTachanka | 43% | 28 |
| #19 | softest hands | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 37 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | pearit | 21 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | CumOnTits | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | femboy | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ENTRY FRAGGER | 9 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 945 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | femboy | 432 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | CumOnTits | 278 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | ENTRY FRAGGER | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | pearit | 210 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +4.83 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | LemonMoose | +2.31 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | ENTRY FRAGGER | +2.17 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | pearit | +1.52 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | Gorilla_Slavery.com | +0.05 | 76 | 51 |





