








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 826 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3704 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2737 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2279 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2601 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,534 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grim | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | Cartnitee2 | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | shatter | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | toromi_ps | 64% | 91 |
| #5 | kei | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | poop | 47% | 57 |
| #16 | Dawuski | 47% | 49 |
| #17 | Gav | 44% | 41 |
| #18 | jodelexpress (dada) | 43% | 53 |
| #19 | Reiji | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | the pope <3 | 9 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | poop | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | jodelexpress (dada) | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | vlr | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | 321 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | toromi_ps | 274 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | jodelexpress (dada) | 188 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | saiyo | 174 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | vlr | 142 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saiyo | +3.60 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | shatter | +2.60 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | Ball | +2.42 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | Jona | +2.21 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | maj | +2.10 | 83 | 63 |





