








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2637 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2447 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2199 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2664 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,231 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | vexi ✪ iwnl | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | 👁 | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | gang | 69% | 67 |
| #5 | maj | 66% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | banjo | 54% | 13 |
| #14 | hype moments and aura | 50% | 14 |
| #15 | SarkasM | 50% | 28 |
| #16 | kei | 46% | 13 |
| #17 | Matrix | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the pope <3 | 10 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | vexi ✪ iwnl | 8 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | maj | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | gang | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | vlr | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toromi_ps | 271 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | maj | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ball | 159 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | gang | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | shatter | 90 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halen | +3.33 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | gang | +2.91 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | shatter | +2.72 | 84 | 74 |
| #4 | maj | +1.81 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | vexi ✪ iwnl | +1.47 | 87 | 45 |





