








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 178 | 14% |
| Smokes | 180 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 377 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 520 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,105 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Animosity® | 52% | 67 |
| #3 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | Joey | 47% | 57 |
| #5 | Violent_Chicken | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 49% | 91 |
| #4 | Joey | 47% | 57 |
| #5 | Violent_Chicken | 43% | 51 |
| #6 | Frodo | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | Work in progress | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 15 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Frodo | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Animosity® | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Work in progress | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 657 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #2 | Joey | 240 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Violent_Chicken | 172 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Animosity® | 67 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Work in progress | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | +2.92 | 60 | 78 |
| #2 | Animosity® | +2.16 | 71 | 35 |
| #3 | Frodo | +1.45 | 45 | 36 |
| #4 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | +0.58 | 87 | 55 |
| #5 | Joey | -0.85 | 43 | 71 |





