








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2005 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1670 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1640 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,320 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goldoreza | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 46% | 130 |
| #3 | Animosity® | 44% | 86 |
| #4 | Frodo | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Brandosi | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Frodo | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Brandosi | 43% | 51 |
| #6 | Joey | 41% | 81 |
| #7 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 33% | 21 |
| #8 | Work in progress | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 18 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Animosity® | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Brandosi | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Work in progress | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 939 | 0.34 | 21 min |
| #2 | Joey | 301 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Animosity® | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Work in progress | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Frodo | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | +3.38 | 59 | 76 |
| #2 | Frodo | +2.05 | 52 | 50 |
| #3 | Goldoreza | +1.95 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Animosity® | +1.66 | 64 | 42 |
| #5 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | +0.31 | 86 | 56 |





