








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4646 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4092 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3083 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3080 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,281 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frodo | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | ✪ CrazyAsianDude | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Goldoreza | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 50% | 304 |
| #5 | Brandosi | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Brandosi | 47% | 57 |
| #6 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 46% | 61 |
| #7 | Animosity® | 45% | 133 |
| #8 | Violent_Chicken | 41% | 81 |
| #9 | Work in progress | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 49 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Animosity® | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Goldoreza | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Brandosi | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Frodo | 6 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 1982 | 0.32 | 45 min |
| #2 | Goldoreza | 292 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Violent_Chicken | 234 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Animosity® | 119 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 107 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goldoreza | +1.88 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | Frodo | +1.76 | 52 | 40 |
| #3 | Animosity® | +1.65 | 65 | 38 |
| #4 | ✪ CrazyAsianDude | +1.52 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | +1.19 | 55 | 73 |





