








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 22% |
| Smokes | 784 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 786 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 673 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $273,507 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Animosity® | 46% | 37 |
| #2 | Frodo | 40% | 25 |
| #3 | Joey | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 38% | 72 |
| #5 | Brandosi | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Joey | 40% | 35 |
| #4 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 38% | 72 |
| #5 | Brandosi | 34% | 38 |
| #6 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 30% | 10 |
| #7 | Violent_Chicken | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Frodo | 7 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | Animosity® | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Brandosi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 518 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #2 | Joey | 151 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Violent_Chicken | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Frodo | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Animosity® | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | +3.56 | 64 | 74 |
| #2 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | +2.66 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | Frodo | +2.34 | 55 | 45 |
| #4 | Animosity® | +1.70 | 65 | 35 |
| #5 | Joey | -1.00 | 45 | 67 |





