








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1042 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1204 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 609 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,219 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brandosi | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Joey | 46% | 61 |
| #3 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | Animosity® | 38% | 42 |
| #5 | Goldoreza | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Animosity® | 38% | 42 |
| #5 | Goldoreza | 35% | 26 |
| #6 | Violent_Chicken | 33% | 21 |
| #7 | Work in progress | 30% | 10 |
| #8 | Frodo | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Animosity® | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Goldoreza | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Brandosi | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Violent_Chicken | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | 544 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #2 | Joey | 249 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Goldoreza | 86 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Violent_Chicken | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Animosity® | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | +0.66 | 52 | 74 |
| #2 | Animosity® | +0.33 | 54 | 31 |
| #3 | Frodo | -0.02 | 31 | 30 |
| #4 | Goldoreza | -0.35 | 54 | 71 |
| #5 | •÷/ вιgғernand \÷• | -0.39 | 76 | 52 |





