








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10319 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8582 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6556 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6122 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,170,917 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 991 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ CrazyAsianDude | 53% | 77 |
| #2 | Goldoreza | 50% | 127 |
| #3 | Joey | 50% | 304 |
| #4 | Brandosi | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | Animosity® | 49% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Animosity® | 23 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Goldoreza | 16 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Joey | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Frodo | 10 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Brandosi | 8 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joey | 1234 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #2 | Violent_Chicken | 382 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Goldoreza | 371 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Animosity® | 183 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ CrazyAsianDude | 166 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Animosity® | +1.76 | 64 | 38 |
| #2 | ⌖☢☣_lord_mord_☣☢⌖ | +1.55 | 57 | 73 |
| #3 | Frodo | +1.50 | 49 | 45 |
| #4 | Goldoreza | +1.17 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | ✪ CrazyAsianDude | +0.74 | 64 | 48 |





