








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2074 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1337 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,137 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DusntAxe | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Klutch | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | Kappie | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Thompie | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | TPPH | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Klutch | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | Kappie | 47% | 83 |
| #4 | Thompie | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | TPPH | 45% | 38 |
| #6 | Vibe Check | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappie | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | DusntAxe | 8 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Thompie | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | TPPH | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Klutch | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappie | 228 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | DusntAxe | 157 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Klutch | 148 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Thompie | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | TPPH | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | +3.71 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | DusntAxe | +2.01 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | Vibe Check | +0.70 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | Kappie | +0.43 | 88 | 58 |
| #5 | Thompie | +0.28 | 86 | 60 |





