








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4542 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4534 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3196 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3100 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,360 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | optiR | 74% | 43 |
| #2 | Keklient | 58% | 281 |
| #3 | Gloeiii | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Kappie | 55% | 130 |
| #5 | John Xina | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | John Xina | 54% | 37 |
| #6 | Klutch | 54% | 39 |
| #7 | SNK | 54% | 78 |
| #8 | Thompie | 52% | 46 |
| #9 | TPPH | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keklient | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Kappie | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | TPPH | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Thompie | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | SNK | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keklient | 821 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | SNK | 390 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kappie | 369 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | TPPH | 245 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Klutch | 231 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | +2.04 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | Keklient | +0.90 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Gloeiii | +0.79 | 95 | 44 |
| #4 | Vibe Check | +0.70 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | SNK | +0.63 | 63 | 68 |





