








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 230 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3853 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4605 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3539 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4526 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,225,675 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DusntAxe | 60% | 47 |
| #2 | Klutch | 56% | 167 |
| #3 | Gloeiii | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Vibe Check | 52% | 46 |
| #5 | Kappie | 51% | 287 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kappie | 24 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | TPPH | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Williamo | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Gloeiii | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Klutch | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | 823 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | Kappie | 753 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #3 | TPPH | 463 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | DusntAxe | 250 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | Williamo | 156 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | +2.85 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | Gloeiii | +1.56 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | DusntAxe | +1.26 | 87 | 60 |
| #4 | Vibe Check | +0.39 | 80 | 63 |
| #5 | Kappie | +0.11 | 85 | 56 |





