








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 375 matches | ||
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 198 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5649 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5061 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4897 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5975 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,406,014 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloeiii | 60% | 78 |
| #2 | Vibe Check | 55% | 130 |
| #3 | Klutch | 55% | 205 |
| #4 | TPPH | 53% | 361 |
| #5 | DusntAxe | 51% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Klutch | 55% | 205 |
| #4 | TPPH | 53% | 361 |
| #5 | DusntAxe | 51% | 79 |
| #6 | Thompie | 51% | 287 |
| #7 | Williamo | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPPH | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Vibe Check | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Thompie | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Gloeiii | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Williamo | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | 940 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | TPPH | 918 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | Thompie | 827 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #4 | DusntAxe | 446 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #5 | Vibe Check | 406 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klutch | +2.30 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | Gloeiii | +0.60 | 89 | 49 |
| #3 | DusntAxe | +0.57 | 88 | 60 |
| #4 | Kappie | +0.16 | 87 | 57 |
| #5 | TPPH | -0.08 | 75 | 59 |





