








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6118 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3814 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2569 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4045 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,210,369 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | 57% | 77 |
| #2 | raeanz | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | bugemeister | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | citrouille | 49% | 53 |
| #5 | snoopdobbydob | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cru$h | 42% | 166 |
| #8 | JM | 39% | 94 |
| #9 | GhostRob | 38% | 45 |
| #10 | RPT | 35% | 85 |
| #11 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 16 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | hambubger | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | GhostRob | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Cru$h | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 804 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | hambubger | 376 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | citrouille | 207 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | 206 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | GhostRob | 139 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | +3.31 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | citrouille | +2.14 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | snoopdobbydob | +1.15 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | Cru$h | +0.98 | 63 | 78 |
| #5 | RPT | +0.97 | 81 | 55 |





