








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2464 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3465 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2295 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3152 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,445,691 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drag0n | 52% | 119 |
| #2 | JM | 51% | 228 |
| #3 | Cru$h | 50% | 336 |
| #4 | Garrison | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | GhostRob | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cru$h | 50% | 336 |
| #4 | Garrison | 49% | 47 |
| #5 | GhostRob | 46% | 69 |
| #6 | The Babbahermeeni | 35% | 85 |
| #7 | Don | 27% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Drag0n | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | JM | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | The Babbahermeeni | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 1649 | 0.23 | 43 min |
| #2 | Drag0n | 363 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | The Babbahermeeni | 285 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | JM | 225 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | GhostRob | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | +1.08 | 59 | 78 |
| #2 | RPT | +0.71 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Garrison | +0.58 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | JM | +0.18 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | Drag0n | -0.40 | 82 | 61 |





