








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2682 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3440 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2462 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3036 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,056,235 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drag0n | 62% | 73 |
| #2 | Garrison | 56% | 109 |
| #3 | Cru$h | 52% | 365 |
| #4 | RPT | 51% | 228 |
| #5 | GhostRob | 48% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | GhostRob | 48% | 111 |
| #6 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 44% | 50 |
| #7 | jim lahey | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | Don | 43% | 47 |
| #9 | The Babbahermeeni | 39% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 18 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Cru$h | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | GhostRob | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Garrison | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Drag0n | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | 1729 | 0.22 | 46 min |
| #2 | GhostRob | 343 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | The Babbahermeeni | 287 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 236 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Drag0n | 217 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru$h | +1.24 | 61 | 79 |
| #2 | JM | +1.09 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | Garrison | +0.46 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | GhostRob | +0.05 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | RPT | +0.03 | 77 | 58 |





