








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1997 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1803 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1908 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,054 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | why|me | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | LOR3M | 63% | 88 |
| #3 | ✝ScripT✝ | 59% | 70 |
| #4 | Young Choppa | 57% | 94 |
| #5 | ZabloiNG | 54% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Young Choppa | 57% | 94 |
| #5 | ZabloiNG | 54% | 134 |
| #6 | goddamnduck | 53% | 130 |
| #7 | gaymorit | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | stariy bob zaza | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goddamnduck | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | why|me | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | ZabloiNG | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Young Choppa | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | LOR3M | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | 457 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | LOR3M | 329 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | ZabloiNG | 297 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | goddamnduck | 194 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✝ScripT✝ | 149 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOR3M | +4.06 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Young Choppa | +2.59 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | ✝ScripT✝ | +1.10 | 83 | 51 |
| #4 | Leetify _s0ulless_ | +0.19 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | goddamnduck | -0.04 | 77 | 57 |





