








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 871 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3933 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2910 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1916 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3255 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,658,365 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 75% | 53 |
| #2 | ZabloiNG | 61% | 97 |
| #3 | gaymorit | 60% | 88 |
| #4 | LOR3M | 60% | 213 |
| #5 | UnterrDe | 59% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | why|me | 56% | 90 |
| #9 | wait вiт?! | 55% | 128 |
| #10 | goddamnduck | 52% | 122 |
| #11 | GROWER | 49% | 92 |
| #12 | stariy bob zaza | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOR3M | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Young Choppa | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | GROWER | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | why|me | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | goddamnduck | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOR3M | 806 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Young Choppa | 402 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | ZabloiNG | 223 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | why|me | 209 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | goddamnduck | 208 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | +6.30 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | LOR3M | +3.24 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | Young Choppa | +3.09 | 84 | 75 |
| #4 | ✝ScripT✝ | +2.64 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | goddamnduck | +0.62 | 78 | 61 |





