








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1867 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3905 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2863 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3197 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,237,617 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wait вiт?! | 62% | 58 |
| #2 | LOR3M | 57% | 68 |
| #3 | Young Choppa | 55% | 137 |
| #4 | Leetify _s0ulless_ | 53% | 130 |
| #5 | ✝ScripT✝ | 52% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | gaymorit | 49% | 105 |
| #8 | UnterrDe | 47% | 60 |
| #9 | why|me | 47% | 60 |
| #10 | GROWER | 44% | 48 |
| #11 | stariy bob zaza | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnterrDe | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Young Choppa | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | why|me | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ✝ScripT✝ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | gaymorit | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | 604 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Leetify _s0ulless_ | 343 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | ✝ScripT✝ | 285 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | LOR3M | 264 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | ZabloiNG | 224 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOR3M | +4.38 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | Young Choppa | +3.33 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | ✝ScripT✝ | +1.70 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | goddamnduck | +0.72 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | why|me | +0.67 | 73 | 41 |





