








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 214 matches | ||
| Wingman | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6793 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6995 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6012 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5951 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,487,060 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | 62% | 73 |
| #2 | ✝ScripT✝ | 60% | 88 |
| #3 | wait вiт?! | 56% | 249 |
| #4 | goddamnduck | 49% | 105 |
| #5 | UnterrDe | 46% | 351 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | goddamnduck | 49% | 105 |
| #5 | UnterrDe | 46% | 351 |
| #6 | GROWER | 46% | 304 |
| #7 | stariy bob zaza | 44% | 175 |
| #8 | why|me | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROWER | 28 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Young Choppa | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | stariy bob zaza | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | UnterrDe | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | goddamnduck | 10 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnterrDe | 664 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | GROWER | 540 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Young Choppa | 287 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | wait вiт?! | 285 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✝ScripT✝ | 275 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | +6.28 | 88 | 77 |
| #2 | ✝ScripT✝ | +4.60 | 86 | 53 |
| #3 | why|me | +1.75 | 75 | 40 |
| #4 | goddamnduck | +1.46 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | wait вiт?! | +0.85 | 48 | 50 |





