








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5598 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2878 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2142 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,668 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 725 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ringing Rabbit | 46% | 149 |
| #7 | jedi_bk | 44% | 39 |
| #8 | FL45H | 43% | 49 |
| #9 | Gabe | 37% | 46 |
| #10 | Not Bibo | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 26 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | hzdai | 14 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | FL45H | 13 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | Ringing Rabbit | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ordinatis | 445 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Worlds worst HOI4 Player | 308 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | MerliN | 199 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | FL45H | 135 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gabe | 117 | 0.12 | 2 min |





