








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4290 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1975 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1805 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,622 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No.77 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | 1m4ginary | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | πθΆ
η΅Άζγγπγ¦γγ | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Matchiew.cc | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 48% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Matchiew.cc | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 48% | 126 |
| #6 | powerpoint.exe | 48% | 194 |
| #7 | η§ε | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | onedrive.exe | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 20 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Matchiew.cc | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | onedrive.exe | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | 1m4ginary | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 454 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | 202 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | Matchiew.cc | 88 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | No.77 | 58 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1m4ginary | 49 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | +3.33 | 66 | 52 |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | +1.77 | 53 | 53 |
| #3 | word.exe | +1.07 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | 1m4ginary | +0.38 | 48 | 49 |
| #5 | No.77 | -0.55 | 48 | 59 |





