








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 23% |
| Smokes | 292 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 385 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 375 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,036 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angelo_ | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | xxx524 | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | word.exe | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxx524 | 12 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Angelo_ | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 6 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | word.exe | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | onedrive.exe | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angelo_ | 332 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | xxx524 | 218 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | word.exe | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 61 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | powerpoint.exe | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | +4.30 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Angelo_ | +3.04 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | powerpoint.exe | +2.95 | 46 | 61 |
| #4 | xxx524 | +2.95 | 73 | 46 |
| #5 | word.exe | +2.36 | 62 | 62 |





