








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 44% |
| Smokes | 294 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 343 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 115 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,376 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1m4ginary | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | word.exe | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | 47% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1m4ginary | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | word.exe | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | 47% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powerpoint.exe | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | word.exe | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 5 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | 1m4ginary | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | word.exe | 290 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | 156 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | 1m4ginary | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | +6.13 | 72 | 49 |
| #2 | 1m4ginary | +4.68 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | powerpoint.exe | +3.36 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | word.exe | +2.16 | 63 | 71 |
| #5 | Matchiew.cc | -3.52 | 28 | 27 |





