








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 26% |
| Smokes | 266 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 11 | 1% |
| Molotovs | 308 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,037 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bottom fragger | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | η§ε | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | powerpoint.exe | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 41% | 49 |
| #5 | word.exe | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | word.exe | 41% | 64 |
| #6 | xxx524 | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | Angelo_ | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | πθΆ
η΅Άζγγπγ¦γγ | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | 1m4ginary | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | word.exe | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | bottom fragger | 4 | 0.0256 |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Angelo_ | 3 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | 241 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | word.exe | 215 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Angelo_ | 68 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #4 | xxx524 | 57 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1m4ginary | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | +4.02 | 70 | 62 |
| #2 | bottom fragger | +3.94 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Angelo_ | +3.44 | 80 | 49 |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | +2.56 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | xxx524 | +2.11 | 84 | 48 |





