








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3830 | 48% |
| Smokes | 1843 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 946 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1281 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,601 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No.77 | 55% | 76 |
| #2 | 秀吉 | 53% | 53 |
| #3 | powerpoint.exe | 52% | 117 |
| #4 | word.exe | 48% | 126 |
| #5 | 1m4ginary | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | word.exe | 18 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | DaiDin | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | onedrive.exe | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | No.77 | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | word.exe | 447 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | DaiDin | 255 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | No.77 | 164 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | 119 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | 秀吉 | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaze (broken keyboard) | +2.88 | 67 | 51 |
| #2 | powerpoint.exe | +0.64 | 48 | 52 |
| #3 | word.exe | +0.54 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | 麦劳叔叔 | +0.39 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | No.77 | -0.22 | 57 | 54 |





