








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2396 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2339 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1422 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2632 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,134 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeyeji | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | altrnt | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | jswzy | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | 36% | 45 |
| #5 | I like some of the gaga songs | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jswzy | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | powerpoint.exe | 36% | 45 |
| #5 | I like some of the gaga songs | 31% | 29 |
| #6 | Chelsea | 29% | 28 |
| #7 | HELL YES | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jswzy | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | altrnt | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | powerpoint.exe | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | HELL YES | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | yeyeji | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | altrnt | 169 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | jswzy | 129 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | I like some of the gaga songs | 72 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | HELL YES | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | yeyeji | 57 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jswzy | +3.68 | 58 | 55 |
| #2 | I like some of the gaga songs | +1.73 | 26 | 70 |
| #3 | altrnt | +1.62 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | ♿1m4ginary♿ | +0.85 | 41 | 40 |
| #5 | powerpoint.exe | -0.79 | 42 | 44 |





