








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2884 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3489 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5186 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3399 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,038 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ a1rbee | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | FireBee | 52% | 159 |
| #3 | ♛ Baal.i. | 50% | 161 |
| #4 | ♥ GilletteBee | 50% | 204 |
| #5 | ♥ aLGo.klaeriker | 48% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SchnickS | 48% | 101 |
| #7 | ♥ king^^ | 47% | 209 |
| #8 | gr3cco | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | Scooby | 45% | 145 |
| #10 | ♥ BlyatBee | 41% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FireBee | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ♥ BlyatBee | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ♛ Baal.i. | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ♥ king^^ | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Scooby | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ BlyatBee | 403 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | FireBee | 391 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Scooby | 362 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | ♥ GilletteBee | 344 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | ♛ Baal.i. | 248 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ aLGo.klaeriker | +3.75 | 87 | 63 |
| #2 | FireBee | +3.04 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | SchnickS | +0.84 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | ♛ Baal.i. | +0.66 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | ♥ GilletteBee | +0.59 | 72 | 61 |





