








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 846 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1453 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,160 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | Murphy | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Astinox | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Pätty2.0 | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DJAima | 48% | 75 |
| #7 | RIckDog | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Chair-No-Bill | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | z00ie[M] ' be quiet! | 44% | 57 |
| #10 | ZzK | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Murphy | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Chair-No-Bill | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | z00ie[M] ' be quiet! | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | DJAima | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJAima | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | yawn | 83 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Astinox | 61 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | ZzK | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | +5.83 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | +2.85 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Chair-No-Bill | +2.71 | 69 | 37 |
| #4 | DJAima | +1.42 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | Astinox | +1.17 | 50 | 41 |





