








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 287 | 11% |
| Smokes | 539 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1036 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 853 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,823 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 42% | 31 |
| #11 | Astinox | 41% | 32 |
| #12 | padde | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | yawn | 38% | 16 |
| #14 | RIckDog | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Noizz | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Strikey | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | RIckDog | 2 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | 205 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cookie | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Strikey | 79 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | DJAima | 58 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noizz | +3.75 | 86 | 75 |
| #2 | yawn | +3.32 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | Cookie | +2.45 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | padde | +1.63 | 57 | 80 |
| #5 | Chair-No-Bill | +0.58 | 60 | 43 |





