








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 853 | 26% |
| Smokes | 727 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1015 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,398 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | yawn | 41% | 17 |
| #14 | Marv. | 39% | 18 |
| #15 | Endac | 36% | 14 |
| #16 | Noizz | 33% | 12 |
| #17 | Astinox | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | 68 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Strikey | 55 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Noizz | 52 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | DJAima | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Endac | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | +6.23 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | +5.08 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | kneifer | +4.63 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | Noizz | +4.60 | 93 | 71 |
| #5 | DJAima | +1.07 | 55 | 60 |





