








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 541 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1074 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1181 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,138 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIckDog | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | selma | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 69% | 42 |
| #4 | ✪ AToN ツ | 68% | 22 |
| #5 | Endac | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kuuba | 50% | 24 |
| #11 | Ickelmoc | 46% | 13 |
| #12 | Noizz | 45% | 22 |
| #13 | Chair-No-Bill | 41% | 32 |
| #14 | Murphy | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Strikey | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | z00ie[M] ' be quiet! | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Murphy | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | kuuba | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | 309 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Noizz | 149 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Endac | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Strikey | 72 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | +4.69 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Noizz | +3.81 | 91 | 74 |
| #3 | kuuba | +3.54 | 75 | 38 |
| #4 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | +1.46 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | Endac | +1.33 | 69 | 68 |





