








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1289 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1361 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2271 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 445 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $744,925 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endac | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Astinox | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Ickelmoc | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Zw1b | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | BJL | 40% | 20 |
| #16 | ZzK | 39% | 18 |
| #17 | RIckDog | 32% | 28 |
| #18 | r4di™ | 25% | 12 |
| #19 | Pätty2.0 | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strikey | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | TimmyBoy™ | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Commanderguy | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Chair-No-Bill | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strikey | 137 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Zw1b | 136 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | 129 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Noizz | 105 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Commanderguy | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawn | +4.48 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | BJL | +4.31 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | Noizz | +3.77 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | +2.91 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | Chair-No-Bill | +2.84 | 64 | 37 |





