








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1013 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4805 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2916 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4124 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2735 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,588,560 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astinox | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | Strikey | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | z00ie[M] ' be quiet! | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | selma | 52% | 272 |
| #5 | DJAima | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | selma | 52% | 272 |
| #5 | DJAima | 48% | 62 |
| #6 | 2 | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | Chair-No-Bill | 42% | 31 |
| #8 | RIckDog | 41% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RIckDog | 19 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | selma | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | DJAima | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Strikey | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | 2 | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | selma | 1552 | 0.27 | 34 min |
| #2 | RIckDog | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | 2 | 106 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | DJAima | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Strikey | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROnn¥♛Ca$h | +2.40 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | Chair-No-Bill | +0.96 | 64 | 32 |
| #3 | Astinox | +0.79 | 47 | 43 |
| #4 | DJAima | +0.70 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | Strikey | +0.11 | 46 | 60 |





