








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3991 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3577 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1855 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2762 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,037 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -VulcaN- | 76% | 49 |
| #2 | BeaKie | 72% | 32 |
| #3 | Noble 6 | 70% | 44 |
| #4 | IseeUdere | 70% | 50 |
| #5 | s/ | 69% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | s/ | 69% | 49 |
| #6 | node | 67% | 18 |
| #7 | redd. | 61% | 18 |
| #8 | Viv | 58% | 26 |
| #9 | Rant* | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s/ | 14 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | -VulcaN- | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Noble 6 | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | BeaKie | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Rant* | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s/ | 175 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | IseeUdere | 175 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | BeaKie | 142 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Noble 6 | 129 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | -VulcaN- | 97 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -VulcaN- | +3.35 | 89 | 50 |
| #2 | Rant* | +3.22 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | BeaKie | +2.96 | 73 | 86 |
| #4 | IseeUdere | +2.21 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | s/ | +2.10 | 83 | 46 |





