








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 260 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2587 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3690 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2785 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2955 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,025,226 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1096 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adam- | 69% | 49 |
| #2 | Jake | 68% | 63 |
| #3 | confirm | 68% | 56 |
| #4 | inst1nct_OG | 67% | 43 |
| #5 | p0wer | 66% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | inst1nct_OG | 67% | 43 |
| #5 | p0wer | 66% | 61 |
| #6 | 平-HuNTeR-和 | 63% | 27 |
| #7 | LaRoLdiNh0 | 62% | 79 |
| #8 | k6 | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | confirm | 15 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | LaRoLdiNh0 | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | p0wer | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | inst1nct_OG | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Adam- | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adam- | 313 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | LaRoLdiNh0 | 283 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Jake | 261 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | p0wer | 166 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | inst1nct_OG | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaRoLdiNh0 | +2.44 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | s/ | +1.61 | 88 | 57 |
| #3 | confirm | +1.29 | 87 | 55 |
| #4 | inst1nct_OG | +1.13 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | k6 | +0.84 | 77 | 56 |





