








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1805 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1456 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 745 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 923 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,196 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 88jake | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | mishka | 54% | 162 |
| #3 | thomas | 54% | 132 |
| #4 | F. | 53% | 137 |
| #5 | pinny | 52% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mishka | 54% | 162 |
| #3 | thomas | 54% | 132 |
| #4 | F. | 53% | 137 |
| #5 | pinny | 52% | 87 |
| #6 | Byeano | 46% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F. | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Byeano | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | thomas | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | mishka | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Byeano | 602 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | mishka | 516 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | F. | 474 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | thomas | 379 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | pinny | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baraccoli | +2.19 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Byeano | +1.72 | 68 | 85 |
| #3 | thomas | +1.29 | 77 | 77 |
| #4 | pinny | -1.04 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | 88jake | -1.27 | 34 | 52 |





