








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8052 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6943 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6643 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5535 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,162,492 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chuff | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | thomas | 54% | 253 |
| #3 | pinny | 52% | 180 |
| #4 | F. | 52% | 241 |
| #5 | mishka | 51% | 272 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pinny | 52% | 180 |
| #4 | F. | 52% | 241 |
| #5 | mishka | 51% | 272 |
| #6 | Baraccoli | 46% | 105 |
| #7 | 88jake | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baraccoli | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | mishka | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | thomas | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | F. | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | pinny | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F. | 921 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | mishka | 789 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | thomas | 780 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | pinny | 333 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Baraccoli | 295 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Byeano | +2.37 | 69 | 84 |
| #2 | thomas | +1.52 | 76 | 80 |
| #3 | Baraccoli | +1.16 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | pinny | -0.66 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | mishka | -0.73 | 66 | 70 |





