








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 298 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5122 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4277 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2933 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3187 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,281,250 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baraccoli | 54% | 162 |
| #2 | F. | 52% | 403 |
| #3 | thomas | 52% | 406 |
| #4 | pinny | 52% | 316 |
| #5 | Byeano | 51% | 272 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | thomas | 52% | 406 |
| #4 | pinny | 52% | 316 |
| #5 | Byeano | 51% | 272 |
| #6 | 88jake | 51% | 108 |
| #7 | M4PREZ | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baraccoli | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Byeano | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | F. | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | thomas | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | pinny | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F. | 1617 | 0.19 | 51 min |
| #2 | Byeano | 1439 | 0.25 | 47 min |
| #3 | thomas | 1317 | 0.15 | 40 min |
| #4 | pinny | 637 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | Baraccoli | 490 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baraccoli | +2.27 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Byeano | +2.11 | 66 | 84 |
| #3 | thomas | +1.64 | 76 | 80 |
| #4 | pinny | -0.44 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | mishka | -0.46 | 66 | 70 |





