








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 286 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4200 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5386 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3119 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2789 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,622,591 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 88jake | 54% | 92 |
| #2 | thomas | 53% | 377 |
| #3 | Baraccoli | 53% | 137 |
| #4 | mishka | 52% | 403 |
| #5 | pinny | 52% | 273 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Baraccoli | 53% | 137 |
| #4 | mishka | 52% | 403 |
| #5 | pinny | 52% | 273 |
| #6 | Byeano | 52% | 241 |
| #7 | M4PREZ | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mishka | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Baraccoli | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Byeano | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | thomas | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | pinny | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Byeano | 1301 | 0.26 | 43 min |
| #2 | thomas | 1212 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #3 | mishka | 1198 | 0.14 | 35 min |
| #4 | pinny | 569 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Baraccoli | 407 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Byeano | +2.16 | 65 | 84 |
| #2 | Baraccoli | +1.99 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | thomas | +1.71 | 76 | 80 |
| #4 | pinny | -0.38 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | M4PREZ | -0.43 | 45 | 70 |





