








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3256 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4345 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1247 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2635 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,756,680 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike hawk | 52% | 162 |
| #2 | Laaw2001 | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | ₿ ThiaS | 52% | 225 |
| #4 | Samegame | 51% | 145 |
| #5 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 51% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 51% | 67 |
| #6 | Henrik | 50% | 98 |
| #7 | Easthouse | 49% | 85 |
| #8 | Simple men | 49% | 92 |
| #9 | ✪Panda | 47% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Easthouse | 17 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Laaw2001 | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | ₿ ThiaS | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Samegame | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | mike hawk | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Panda | 437 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | mike hawk | 297 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Samegame | 241 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | ₿ ThiaS | 215 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Easthouse | 191 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | +2.02 | 74 | 51 |
| #2 | ₿ ThiaS | +1.24 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Samegame | +1.19 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪Panda | -0.06 | 82 | 73 |
| #5 | Easthouse | -1.19 | 59 | 49 |





