








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1753 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3363 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4196 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3636 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,769,465 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Panda | 58% | 60 |
| #2 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | Laaw2001 | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | Snow | 52% | 225 |
| #5 | Samegame | 51% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Samegame | 51% | 232 |
| #6 | Henrik | 51% | 119 |
| #7 | Simple men | 48% | 141 |
| #8 | mike hawk | 47% | 125 |
| #9 | Easthouse | 46% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Easthouse | 21 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Samegame | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Laaw2001 | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | mike hawk | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 565 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Samegame | 399 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Easthouse | 327 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | mike hawk | 259 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✪Panda | 215 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | +2.05 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | ✪Panda | +1.67 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | ₿ ThiaS | +1.38 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Samegame | +1.36 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | Easthouse | -0.40 | 64 | 52 |





