








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3224 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2076 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3453 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2134 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $806,850 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Simple men | 45% | 56 |
| #9 | Easthouse | 43% | 58 |
| #10 | TeRKeL | 42% | 24 |
| #11 | Henrik | 40% | 47 |
| #12 | Joh | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ✪Panda | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Easthouse | 10 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | ₿ ThiaS | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Samegame | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Panda | 533 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Snow | 382 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 144 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Easthouse | 143 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Samegame | 137 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | +2.73 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | ₿ ThiaS | +1.74 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | ✪Panda | +1.61 | 83 | 73 |
| #4 | Samegame | +1.51 | 55 | 62 |
| #5 | TeRKeL | +1.10 | 73 | 56 |





