








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Esplay | 14 matches | 1,471 | |
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3161 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3452 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1547 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2458 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,069 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 446 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Lar74 | 40% | 105 |
| #13 | Elon Musk | 39% | 82 |
| #14 | Donkey | 37% | 30 |
| #15 | Berkan62 | 32% | 34 |
| #16 | Thunberg | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lar74 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Max | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Olsson | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Pizz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biktor | 336 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | Elon Musk | 310 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Max | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Olsson | 218 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Peel ♥ | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +3.82 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Thunberg | +3.33 | 97 | 67 |
| #3 | Elon Musk | +2.29 | 86 | 70 |
| #4 | B1tchter | +1.01 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | Berkan62 | +0.62 | 81 | 48 |





