








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 462 | 15% |
| Smokes | 988 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 916 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 802 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $941,475 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | 68% | 68 |
| #2 | Jlow | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | norcha | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | chaR | 63% | 81 |
| #5 | xantosz | 63% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | norcha | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | chaR | 63% | 81 |
| #5 | xantosz | 63% | 40 |
| #6 | Jextreem vG | 62% | 68 |
| #7 | beastly | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaR | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | CADZOR | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | xantosz | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Jlow | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jextreem vG | 256 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | CADZOR | 238 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | chaR | 223 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | xantosz | 140 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jlow | 90 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xantosz | +2.76 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | Jextreem vG | +1.60 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | beastly | +1.60 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | CADZOR | +1.21 | 85 | 67 |
| #5 | Jlow | +0.81 | 74 | 66 |





