








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 224 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2710 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2448 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2426 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2680 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,043 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | 62% | 69 |
| #2 | Wetenschapper Wout | 62% | 68 |
| #3 | Fowlz | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | xantosz | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | smiley | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xantosz | 57% | 69 |
| #5 | smiley | 56% | 59 |
| #6 | chaR | 54% | 235 |
| #7 | SteN | 53% | 36 |
| #8 | [LBS] BickBuster | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaR | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | xantosz | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | CADZOR | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | smiley | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Wetenschapper Wout | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaR | 647 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | CADZOR | 243 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | xantosz | 199 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | SteN | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | smiley | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiley | +2.39 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | xantosz | +1.85 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Jextreem vG | +1.80 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | CADZOR | +1.28 | 83 | 67 |
| #5 | Wetenschapper Wout | +0.55 | 90 | 41 |





